Kids and Cellphones

Call me old school, but I was born in the 80's. I protested having a cellphone until I got my first job at 16, because they were pieces of shit, and still really are. I remember the "Zack Morris" cellphone what was a shaved down cinder block with an stick on it, pretending to be an antenna. I have worked in retail for 5 years, and several times I would see 8 year old kids with their own cell phones, and not just the Elmo one, but serious BlackBerries. No shit. And it was THIER CELLPHONE. Not their parents, but their own personal phone. Granted it could be a hand me down. But I seriously doubt that these kids have an important business call that they just have to fucking take from Boston that could make or break the Disney Princess Birthday party proposal they have been working on the last 6 months, making them neglect thier stuffed animals and missing important tea party dates with Barbie and her friends.

Now, I can understand that people want to be able to make sure little Johnny and Suzie are okay that their faggy fucking "play dates", but just call the parents that this is going on at. Or better yet, just go over there. My parents did that all the time. They would check up on me. Sure I hated it, but at least I know that I wasn't an 8 year herion junkie. I had to stay clean, in case my parole officer parents came to check up on me. You can't be strung out on yoohoo and string cheese in those situations. I can only imagine the dialogue when that kid's phone rings.

Open on: Jimmy and Sam

Jimmy: Pechew, pechew. I shot you! You're dead!!!
Sam: You're a cheater! *phone rings* Hold on, Jimmy. Hello? Mom, baby, sweetie, darling, how are you this afternoon? Did you get that gift basket I set ya? Nice, nice. What? Yeah, Jimmy and I are just playing Cops and Robbers. Yeah, I'm wearing my knee pads. I know, I know, I have to take it easy, I can't afford another heart attack. It is crazy that I had a heart attack at 8, but I am just working myself to death trying to get this deal with the Cookie Monster closed, that I haven't been able to get much me time. Yeah, do me a favor, and book me a play date with Samantha, she is great at the massage thing. Alright, thanks babe. Oops, I have Billy on the other line, I just have to take this, but I'll call you when I'm ready to get pick up, alright? OKay, heh heh, okay, love you, too, mom. Yeah, smooches back at you.
Jimmy: Damn moms, right?
Sam: Yeah, I'd fire her, but her grilled cheese is the best. Hold can i pass that up, you know?

It is just disturbing to me that kids have cell phones now. What disturbs me more is that they have ones that are better than the piece of crap that I am stuck with. Of course, these same 8 year olds also have Myspace and Facebook pages and Twitter accounts that probably just say other stupid crap like "getin bath. I hat dem lots. champoop in mai i." Damn kids. This just shows how spoiled kids are getting. Back in my day, I had a crappy computer with Windows 3.0, and was content with the pressing business of helping Commander Keen fight aliens, and geting numbers and words munched. Then later going and jumping on a trampoline at a friend's house. Occasionally playing Pokemon, when I got older..... and it came out. But now kids have to talk to their friends on their cellphones in stores like their parents do. Fucking kids.

You will come to find out that I hate kids and old people, but more on that later.